No-Ho Guidelines for Sheer Shirts

I’m a big fan of sheer clothing. I’m also a quasi-modest human being and don’t particularly enjoy people making scandalous assumptions about me based off my clothes. So, keeping folks from thinking I’m a ho despite the fact that they can see straight through my shirt is a tricky number to pull off. However, I’ve found that if I follow a few loose guidelines, I’m able to traipse about in transparent tops while still maintaining some semblance of respectability.

Nix’s No-Ho Guidelines for Sheer Shirts:

1. If you’re gonna to go sheer, then you gotta go granny. Trust me, this will keep you from looking like a full-blown ho. Throw on a wool, embroidered cardi or get some kind of frumpy business going at your feet. I like being able to channel both harlot and puritan into one ensemble anyway, so shoot for both extremes – it leaves people in a judgmental stalemate.

2. Wear a bandeau. I don’t need to see your nips. A taut cami is fine, though I begrudgingly accept it as such.

3. And floating in the same boat as areolas is the belly button. An exposed navel leaves you vulnerable to harsh assumptions, so keep that innie hidden. This can be done with high-waisted shorts or body-con skirt. If your garment is heavily patterned or buttons straight down the center, then you’re good to go. Throw on some gaudy earrings just for good measure.

4. As a side note, it helps to not be sexy.

Thank you @minouye for this classic #grandmafab capture.

What are some ways that you wear sheer clothing? Cause, really, I’m always lookin’ for new ones. 😉


ps. Thank you to my dearest @MaiOseto for being ever willing to take silly photos of me. Follow her, because, if anything, she posts more photos of me than I do.