Alright, so here’s the deal in so many words or less.
I got an additional job (to the two that I already have), which has reduced my free time down to nil. I hope this explains my regrettable absence to the bloggersphere. Fret not dear followers, I’ll get my priorities in order and return to you soon.
And, I’m currently in Tokyo. I left my island so very many hours ago to embark on a whirlwind tour of Japan as part of the Cherry Blossom Festival of Hawaii. It’s a lot of business doubling as pleasure and I’m so thrilled to be back in Asia. Already, I’m loving the dozens of idiosyncrasies that set Japan apart from other destinations that I’ve traveled to.
Since it’s nearly 2 a.m. Japan Time (7 a.m. in Hawaii), I have only the limits of my brief time here to show you what I’ve seen thus far… Meaning, our hotel and some convenient-store food.
Our hotel room, by American standards, is chock full of oddities.
1. Our beds come with Pajamas
2. PAJAMAS! And I’m wearing mine now…
3. The control for the air conditioner is attached to this multi-functional radio/alarm console thats attached to the center nightstand. So, yes, after I turned on the air I also turned on the radio and am currently listening to classical music.
4. Our house slippers come with “Slipper Sheets”
5. So I put the Slipper Sheets on my shoes and, you betcha, am wearing them now.
6. The counter above the refrigerator has a build-in hot pot for… I don’t know. Ramen. I’ll be exercising this gadgetry in the morning for my coffee.
Anyway, that’s all for now. I’ve been up a good 24 hours and need to rise and shine super early to get our rail passes and then make some sponsor visits (going to the offices of the organizations that have supported/sponsored the Cherry Blossom Festival).
The court usually have to dress alike, so my “fashion” blog will be a little less so in the coming fortnight. I hope you’re okay with travel writing!
Listen, I’m almost not sure how it happened, but I came in to work one day and I had a fanpage. For lesbians.
Now this is another unexplainable something, but lesbians are curiously drawn to me. To say they flock would be kind of maybe a literal description. In the beginning, I think it was because I had a pixie cut and no history, as far as anyone knew, of having had a boyfriend. Despite growing out my hair and racking up exlovers, the ladies still liked to lay it on thick.
And maybe it’s because I could care less whether a person is gay or not. Or, mayhaps, it’s because I’m nearly connected at the hip with my fake identical twin best friend, Mai, who just so happens to be the awesome lesbian version of myself. I completely understand how my love for her is misleading – but have you any idea how amazing she is?
And so the origin story of Chix4Nix.com came into being. That’s right, my very own lesbian fanpage.
Now, I’m almost sad to say I’m not gay. I’ve even assessed the possibility of a shift in my sexual orientation, but alas, that number still stands at nil. For all those Chix for Nix out there, regardless, I <3 you all.
ps. Dix4Nix, however, is still an open concept. JUST KIDDING, MOM AND DAD.
So it’s officially autumn and there’s a nip to the air. Streetlights flicker on sooner as the days become shorter, and as long as you eat seasonally then you can say goodbye to tart blackberries picked straight off the bramble. It’s not time yet but it’ll be time soon enough to pack your sun dresses and sleeveless numbers away to make room for winter coats, fuzzy hats and wool socks. Ah, that seasonal transition is such a puzzle.
Unless you live in Hawai‘i where we don’t even have blackberry bushes because it’s an invasive species that would choke off our native flora and freak out the tender island-wide ecosystem. ps. Streetlights flicker on at 6:30 p.m. like, always. So how do you adapt to the summer/fall climate transit in a place like that? Well, where do I begin.
1. Wear white. It’s hot and humid and there is no such thing as a seasonal reprieve when you rub elbows with the equator. “But it’s past Labor Day,” you say? Well I don’t want to be caught with soppy pit stains or an excess of unnecessary boob sweat.
2. Bring a light sweater around with you. Oh don’t get excited, official sweater weather isn’t until late December, but the office is still a little frigid and you just want to make sure you can survive that indoor/outdoor transition.
3. Break out a nice pair of boots! Rain boots, of course, cause it’s still hurricane season.
4. Use moisturizer. While leather is one of this season’s big must-haves, you don’t want to showcase it on your face. Make sure it’s also equipped with SPF as an off-season sunburn is just as detrimental as a peak season one. Don’t put your guard down just because we’re getting less UV exposure the closer we get to winter. Protect that beautiful mug!
5. And lastly, continue wearing the exact same clothes that you’ve been wearing in the summer. And spring. And the winter before that. So, like, shorts and tank tops, sandals, flirty dresses, bikinis, wide-brimed hats, the over-sized tote and sunglasses.
And there you have it! Five fail-safe ways to survive Hawai‘i’s climate change in style! Good luck to you.
If you’re not sold on the great wardrobe theme of Grandma Fab, then let me spend a few moments showing you the versatile ways that this apparel juxtaposition functions. In today’s post, we take GramFab to the office.
You can apply the same principle of the last post in a 9 to 5 situation, albeit with a few edits. Clearly, the “sex” requirement of the outfit needs to become more of a subtle presence despite the need to appeal to a boss (cue Bell and Sebastian’s “Step Into My Office, Baby“). So, instead, the appeal must be more suggestive.
I love a high-waisted skirt. My brother and that one cranky girl that sat behind me in our Global Communication class both share the unfortunate similarity of having voiced that it makes a woman look old. Au contraire! Anything that embraces that waist should be heralded as a savior of figure, the goddess of shape and champion of physique. My short Asian legs and long upper torso bow in reverence to that old-fashioned silhouette. And the best part is, why, it merely hints at the untouchable whimsy that is the break-room romp. “I’m fertile, baby,” it says, “but not on my 9 to 5.”
Imaginary exploits aside, the office constricts provocative garb and it takes a moment of meddling to sneak in a note of sexy. Coco Chanel hated the knee – that ugly, wobbly patella – but while your joints are still supple, I say hike ‘um up. High heels, floral skirts, billowy satin blouses that give movement and shape; now we’re talking. Accessorize with gaudy gold jewelry, a vintage, thrifted purse and top it off with an asymmetrical hairdo to give yourself a hired-on-the-spot, classic Gram-Fabulous outfit.
So break out those thrift store pieces and pair it with a modern top, accessorize like an old lady and wow your boss with your stellar, camouflaged sex appeal.
Also, here’s the stellar piece of street art that served as the underrepresented backdrop to this photo shoot. Appreciate it with me now.
In my early collegic years, I circulated through a few wardrobe themes that ranged from the standard “Sexy Secretary” to the more obscure “Wealthy Widow.” These days, however, I abide by a term that I like to call “Grandma Fab.”
There’s an odd cohesion between being both grandmotherly and fabulous. This juxtaposition of extremes narrows down into a spectacular, dazzling point of wool and embroidery and gold. However, too much frumpy or an over abundance of glitz could tip the scales in unfavorable ways. This is why I’ve measured out a golden ratio with which to concoct the perfect GramFab outfit.
I split a standard outfit into five parts:
3) Outerwear (jacket, cardigan, sweatshirt etc).
5) Accessories (hats, jewelry, bags, scarves)
The ideal balance would be 2:2:1, and by this I mean, 2 parts granny matched by 2 parts normal and 1 part sex.
“Sex” is a very loose term (see what I did there), though it’s required only to represent the other extreme. Mathematically, there should always be more grandma than sex, though a nice sheer shirt or deep V-neck will help to keep things alluring.
In the following photos, Grandma is represented by my vintage wool, beaded cardi (a big favorite of mine) and accessories. I usually wear glasses with gold frames and croakies, which brings the theme home, but alas, the giant geometric ring and tin parrot pin will have to represent.
The “sex” here is slightly underrepresented by the black suede heels and cutouts in the blouse. I usually like to get a bit more suggestive with a sheer shirt, but if you’re the kind of person who’s not sure if you can pull off transparent clothing without looking like a hoe, well, then have I got advice for you.
I want to send my greatest thanks to Anthony Nguyen for being up to the impromptu task of this photoshoot. Mai and I ran into him in a random alleyway while he was questing to photograph some other graffiti murals that were adjacent to where we were. Since his equipment trumped our iPhone camera, we took it as a serendipitous moment and made the most of the coincidence. Go ahead and check his stuff out as he’s been making it into numerous local magazines as of late.
Photos of the photo shoot, courtesy of Mai
In the meantime, what are some key grandma pieces that you love?
Or are there any other golden ratios that you like to dress by?